A first date can be nerve-wracking. There are almost certainly going to be some anxious feelings associated with any first date. Anxiety for both parties is almost a given on a first date. To me there is truly nothing worse than the dreaded feeling of the silence getting longer and longer, while your anxiety worsens and worsens. Well with these questions, that somebody can be you! What I have found is the best solution is to have a repertoire of questions to fall back on if it ever becomes awkward. These questions are a great way to keep the conversation going and avoid those terrible silences.
Cut the cringe; how to overcome awkward silences
Have you ever been on a date where you experienced too many awkward pauses and time seemed to be dragging itself? When the conversation slows down, people feel awkward. This awkwardness can grow more if you do not know each other.
Not all dates are going to be home runs, but ideally we can get through the basic conversations smoothly enough to give us a fighting chance. However, when the conversation slows, there is a way to keep things from going downhill quickly. Here are some ways to avoid those awkward silences that threaten to raise the discomfort levels. Ask questions that connect people emotionally. One of the best ways to start a conversation that will keep flowing is to talk about something the person actually cares about.
You might not know what they like yet, but most people like talking about themselves so you keep your questions focused on them. Think back. If you can feel that the conversation is about to hit a wall, you can always back track a few minutes and pick up with another topic you might have veered from. The more relaxed you can remain, the more likely your conversation will just flow as usual.
Skip the negativity.
How to Never Run Out of Things to Say On a Date So The Conversation Keeps Flowing Easily
Silence isn’t always a bad thing, nor is it always awkward. There are easy ways to avoid uncomfortable silences in conversation, both in person and while speaking over the phone. Not every silence is awkward. Sometimes silence can be reflective or simply a natural break in the conversation.
There’s no denying that first dates can be awkward. of the interaction (and potential awkward silences), you can laugh off any odd moments.
Get expert help with dating as a socially awkward person. Click here to chat online to someone right now. Are flirting and socializing not your thing? Do you dread mixers, speed dating, and loud clubs with banging dance music? Being single can be hard enough some days as you watch your friends march down the aisle, or scroll through endless engagement and baby photos on Facebook. Once the stomping ground of weirdos and expats, the meet up scene has expanded and improved dramatically.
Meet up groups have popped up globally in every city. There are apps galore for meeting people with similar interests. Go out and see what happens, and just enjoy being around people who enjoy something you do. First, the good news is that groups are usually small, and have a moderator to facilitate introductions and alleviate nervousness for newcomers. Another great aspect about meet up groups is that some of them can be super niche.
Underwater basket weaving your thing? Vampire cosplay fan?
Look, getting to know someone can be intimidating, and even when both people are perfectly interesting and the chemistry is there, it’s hard to know the right conversation topics to bring up with a stranger. You might be hesitant to ask something too personal when you’re just getting to know someone, but you also want to get out of that dreaded small-talk territory—and thwart those equally-dreaded awkward silences.
To help navigate this tricky terrain, we’ve established a few substantive but non-intimidating topics to keep the conversation going when shit gets weird and you find yourself trying to avoid eye contact from across the table:. Your childhoods Not in a therapy sort of way!
With some tips for first date conversation starters, you can greatly boost your confidence and have fun moments all through. Here are some of them: 1. One also.
Jump to navigation. Notas first dipped his toes into confidence coaching 10 years ago and has since built up a service of international standing. So why does the Boston-based specialist think uncomfortable pauses arise? Notas goes on to use an example from the clients he works with to pad out his assessment. Fronted by Namkje Koudenburg and her colleagues at the University of Groningen, the study found that uninterrupted conversations are connected with feelings of belonging and self-esteem, whereas those bedraggled by brief silences conjure up negative emotions and feelings of rejection.
Crucially, the Dutch researchers reasoned that our aversion to lengthy lulls stems from a much more visceral dread. Nevertheless, they still elicit unpleasant feelings. How do we get the better of them? Granted, skirting around the abyss of an awkward silence is easier said than done. Fortunately Notas is armed with a bounty of actionable tips that can be implemented as soon as the conversation splutters to an uncomfortable halt.
To the uninitiated or the shy , this seems like a calamitous idea. Above all Notas is certain that awkward silences are shaped by our own misperceptions.
The world is round. The sun always rises and sets. And first dates can be awkward.
Prepare some fun ice-breakers.
Thoughts like, Is he bored with my company? Does he find me weird? You want to present the best side of yourself and rein in the crazy at least at the beginning. Maybe we just need to live in the moment and go with the flow I know, a mean feat for those who plan everything down to the minute. Here are a few ways to get out of your head and be present on your date:. This is like asking me to embrace period cramps like an old friend.
But an actual friend of mine told me that the problem is all just in my head. Same silence, different people. An occasional lull in the conversation is actually pretty normal. Instead of fixating on that giant sea of silence between you and your date, think of it as some down-time to reflect on the conversation and gather your thoughts before picking up where you left off.
On hindsight, it was probably better to listen to what he was saying so we could have, you know, an actual conversation. In short, we just have to pull ourselves out of our heads.
How To Be Less Awkward On A First Date
Whether you’re tasked with addressing an employee’s hygiene issue , or you’re at a loss for words about how to console someone who is dealing with a personal tragedy, you may be tempted to avoid saying anything. After all, awkward conversations are really uncomfortable. But avoiding the elephant in the room will only add to the discomfort and tension. Sometimes, you need to face those issues head-on, even when it’s uncomfortable to do so.
Imagine that each person is walking around carrying a big knotted ball of string. All of these strings are their thoughts, ideas, interests and opinions. People: Mutual contacts are a great, easy way to start chatting. You can also liven up the conversation in a lull by searching for mutual friends. People love talking about other people.
Interests: Shared interests introduce a topic you both know a lot about, which is ripe territory for great stories and natural conversation. Use that as an opener. I think she studied political science. What did you study?
How to Avoid Awkward Silences on a 1st Date (Video)
A first date can cause nervousness especially when one has no idea of what to talk about. In most cases, you find that the couples do not know where to begin hence end up in silence. The silence could be very uncomfortable. The situation is even worse when none of the parties want to break it. Remember that, every second that tickles only increases the tension and the sooner you know how to fight it, the better.
With some tips for first date conversation starters, you can greatly boost your confidence and have fun moments all through.
If you go into the date with acceptance that awkwardness is likely, and a normal part of dating, then 8 Tips to Help You Avoid First-Date Awkwardness Hartman says you should avoid filling awkward silences with chatter.
To learn how to save yourself from these embarrassing moments check out the tips below. Because asking questions you are not interested in can often just make things worse. Rather than having a plan to escape awkward silences learn to accept them. You can often avoid that feeling of not knowing what to talk about with women by allowing yourself to be genuinely interested and curious about who she is. After all, how much do you really know about this girl?
Do you know what she was like as a kid? What excites her? What and who is most important in her life and why? Trying to fight or avoid that tension usually just makes it worse.